Resentment is NOT a fun feeling...but it is one of the most helpful and powerful tools to help you when you are feeling stuck or helpless in your mothering experience.

I have heard from many mothers that they feel they "lost" themselves in motherhood at one point or another. Before I explain the BIGGEST reason WHY so many mothers feel lost in motherhood, I think it is important to note that…I believe “getting lost” is an essential aspect to one’s “becoming”, her matrescence. There is something very different between feeling lost, like it is happening to you, powerless and helpless, and getting lost.

For the first time, the mother is finally feeling validated and normal in her experience simply by learning just this one word! And of course, now her desire is to share it with her partner with hopes that her partner will understand her experience too. So will he/she understand it? Maybe more broadly, but really deeply get it? Ehh, that might take some time; honestly…if ever.

Ambivalence is the cornerstone to one's matrescence and that in being a mother, it is both full of intense ups and downs, grief and joy and growth and challenge. It's the BOTH/AND I always talk about.
Educating on this concept of matrescence widens our conversation when it comes to supporting mothers, clinically and otherwise. They are no longer forced into boxes defined by a clinical diagnosis or a perfect-mother image on TikTok; they are the majority of mothers in the middle.

When a woman becomes a mother she is UNDONE and RE-DONE; she is LOST and the FOUND; she is DISORIENTED and then REORIENTED. To what, you might ask? That is for her to cultivate, create and fall into (with intention and design). If you aren’t already feeling validated in your experience by knowing there is a word to describe all the changes you have been feeling since becoming a mother…here is more.

Mothers feel like they're failing all over the place. That's pretty much baseline these days. The work-from-home mama, however, is apologizing right, left and center for feeling like she's failing her children and her employer. She's a big disappointment all around.

The thing is, so many people equate rest with laziness or feel guilty when they aren’t being productive. They think that these moments of “rest” are worthless and wasted. But rest IS being productive, Mama. It’s restorative. It’s regenerative. It’s the gas in your tank.

Motherhood has moments of loneliness for all of us. However, no matter how comfortable we are with this way of living, we also feel that deep in our bones something is missing; we can feel it. Humans are hard-wired for connection.

Matrescence is the profound shift from woman to mother that impacts her in every facet of her life. Knowing this one word has the power to completely change how you think about yourself as a mother.

When you become pregnant and embark on your more visible motherhood/parenting journey...your values become under a spotlight and suddenly you can't hide them as much anymore. Here's the thing...if you can identify the "why" you are mothering the way you are, you might find yourself more confident in your decisions and less likely to second-guess yourself.

We’re two years into this pandemic and we’re burned out. We’re exhausted. We just want “normalcy” again. We’re sad, grieving and fed up. It isn’t okay anymore. It’s okay to not be okay with this anymore too. This is NOT what any of us ever imagined mothering would be like.

For a new mother, overwhelmed by her emotions and experience, asking “How are you?” might be just the out she needs to not talk about her real feelings. Try these questions instead.

Our postpartum bodies bring up such mixed emotions - gratitude for the baby they birthed yet also frustration at it’s appearance. Back bounce culture is brutal. Yet our bodies are the physical representation of all the ways in which we’ve changed since becoming a mother.

It isn't about "knowing what to do" all the time, or feeling confident in your decisions all the time. Motherhood is about the unknown, the in between, the mixed up feelings and thoughts. It's about the push-pull.

You were promised a village. But where are they? Motherhood feels lonely, but with a little bit of effort, you can build the village you crave. Here’s how…