The Work-From-Home Mom Struggles
COVID made it seem like we could somehow have it all…
Being present with our children at home (no longer missing out on their growing up thanks to being in the office) AND…
Our thriving careers.
If anyone could juggle the two…It’s MOM.
So much of motherhood feels hard.
(Note: While some of us can "choose our hard", that's a place of privilege, and other mothers don't have the option to choose...it's just flat out HARD and it's multiplied by their lack of choice in the situation.)
Yet, let's chat about the work from home mothering that is HARD.
The working-from-home mom struggles…
At first glance, it feels like the dream! Getting to be there for your children while also tackling work emails, attending meetings and knocking out deadlines.
But look a bit closer and it screams BURNOUT.
Burnout in motherhood is REAL
This dynamic absolutely contributes to it.
Mothers feel like they're failing all over the place. That's pretty much baseline these days. The work-from-home mama, however, is apologizing right, left and center for feeling like she's failing her children and her employer. She's a big disappointment all around.
"Sorry, I'm late." - she says to her employer via zoom as she scrambles to put together a screen-free activity.
"Hold on, sweetie, I'm almost done." - she says to her toddler who is pulling at her leg while she's wrapping up a meeting.
The "sorry's", the "hold on's", the "one more minute"...it's downright exhausting, draining and sooooo unhealthy for her nervous system. She's constantly on overdrive.
And the message it sends her child(ren)?
Try to do it all.
Stress is the norm.
Everything needs you at the same time; so everything is equally important and somehow not important enough to be given your full attention.
Overstimulation in Motherhood
Then there is the constant overstimulation…the noise. The crying in the background, the Bluey episode, the “I need a snack”…it’s just all too much. Of course there is moments of mom rage. Who wouldn’t lose their cool? Feeling tapped out is a thing. Being constantly needed can be so triggering by itself, yet one to competing priorities are begging of your time and attention simultaneously…impossible!
The systemic barriers make it near impossible...the lack of affordable, safe, reliable childcare. The lack of the village. The motherhood penalty.
The personal barriers are there too...the guilt, being a "good mother", wanting to spend time with your child yet also feel driven in your career, the pressure to send the right message to your daughter about what it means to be a woman...
It's just hard. There's so much to unpack here.
Just know that wearing two hats at the same time IS as exhausting as it seems. It does lead to burnout. You do deserve something different.
Maybe time to look at…
your local library and see if they have a private room you can begin to work out of?
your local coffee shop?
a local workshare space you can rent?
At least it’s time to acknowledge that the work-from-home gig isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s less of a dream and more of a curse (again, not all the time…there is some beauty to it!)
It’s time to do something different for yourself because wearing more than ONE hat at a time is not sustainable. You deserve it.
