Let’s Talk…Matrescence

The profound transition from woman to mother.

The statistics will stop you in your feet. This whole birthing-thing is no joke.

Did you know...?

One in seven mothers experience postpartum depression and one in ten women experience postpartum anxiety. Almost 25% of women report pelvic floor pain and a whopping 60% experience diastasis recti after childbirth. The statistics go on and on.

Yet there is one postpartum experience that all, yes all, literally 100% of women who give birth will experience and it’s gaining more and more attention as of recently.

Thank goodness.

What is matrescence?

It’s scientifically referred to as “matrescence”-the dramatic emotional, hormonal and physical changes associated with becoming a mother.

Coined in 1973 by Dana Raphael, a medical anthropologist, it describes the complexities involved in the transition from maiden to mother. It can begin as early as when a woman tries to conceive, lasting throughout pregnancy, brith and well into the postpartum years, manifesting itself differently after every new addition to the family.

It’s no more just about the physical changes to a woman’s body, albeit that’s a huge contributing factor throughout pregnancy and postpartum. But it’s also, and even more so, about the pyschological implications as well as her social identity after birthing a baby that now takes the spotlight. It’s her relationship with her partner, her career, her friends. It’s her choices on breast feeding vs. formula, sleep-training vs. bedsharing, going back to work or staying home, that are so much deeper than they seem on the surface. It’s her relationship with her own mom that is conjured up once becoming a mom herself. It’s reading too many parenting books and slowly dis-trusting her own intuition. It’s EVERYTHING. It’s ALL OF IT.

And...here’s the good thing.

It’s ALL NORMAL. Literally every women who becomes a mother (or even desires to) experiences this. It's just that, as a society, we tend to not talk about the challenges we face in motherhood nearly as much as we should. Instead, we usually further the mom guilt by sharing picture perfect IG posts with one another and idealizing motherhood in a unhelpful fashion.

Matrescence is a developmental milestone.

Any milestone or developmental transition in a person’s lifespan is filled with angst, challenges, growth and a plethora of other confusing emotions...and matrescence is no different. Once a mother can grasp this developmental milestone for herself, she can begin to better understand her reactions to becoming a mother herself. Hopefully, viewing herself with more compassion, empathy and love. If you want to know more...I’ve got you covered. Here’s a bunch of awesome external resources for your perusing.

So the next time you're scrolling IG and feeling inadequate as a mom, pause. Remember that even that mom that seems to have it all figured out...has experienced matrescence too. It's just a filtered version of motherhood and behind the need to appear perfect (by society's ridiculous standards and expectations of moms today <---that's its own post!), is another woman, whose life was forever changed...by becoming a mother.

Things are changing for you Mama - whether you are pregnant, postpartum or a seasoned mother. Do you want help along your journey to become a mother? Becoming Mama is a full three months, of support dedicated to helping you own your matrescence with respect and reverence for all you are becoming.