Slowing Down in Motherhood
We all could use a little more slow…
Does anyone else look for signs? Synchronicities?
Let this be one of them…
The hustle of modern motherhood is exhausting.
Our day had a “hard” 9:30am start. Dance class.
We just purchased all the things; the leotard, ballet slippers, tap shoes, tights…all the things “necessary” to “fit in”. But today we showed up…15 minutes late, wearing our pajamas, mismatching socks and messy hair.
And that was just going to be ok.
B/c in order to make that happen, our morning was rushed, icky and disconnected. And that just sucks; b/c I never imagined the rush of motherhood could suck so much joy out of it. I had said “hurry up” and “I don’t like rushing” more times than I could count…yet, how confusing to my toddler…
“Why does mama rush if she hates it so much?”
And I know that what it is going to take to make this “hurriedness” of modern motherhood begin to shift to a more slow rhythm and more connection (to my child, my partner, my whole world…and esp. myself)…is more of me, initially at least. And frankly, I don’t know where I am going to get that “extra” from.
But what I know is that the rush, the go, the hurry, isn’t a life I chose for myself or my little one; really none of us.
And while I was driving to dance class, fuming with frustration of how impossible it was to ever “do it all” (at least with ease, gentleness, and joy), I was also acknowledging how stuck I felt; helpless and hopeless, that life as a mother could ever look different for me.
And then…two blocks away from the dance class (I could literally
see the building), two police cars were blocking the road due to a tree that had fallen and knocked power lines down across the street. I was literally STUCK. And we we’re forced to sow down, reconfigure and be late(r) than we were already going to be.
I got it. I saw the “sign”.
Even with all the rushing, we were going to be late. Today, it was inevitable. But the sign…was not ignorable. I got the message.
It’s time to stop. Reconfigure. Reassess and find a new rhythm. It took a tree blocking my way, illustrating my “stuck-ness”, to make me hard pause and decide to take charge of my own experience in motherhood.
Too often we can feel re-active in motherhood; as if we’re in a constant marathon with no end in sight. Chasing our tails.
While we might feel more broadly as if we have “lost” ourselves in motherhood (a different blog all together), each day can feel as if we’re lost, with no direction too.
How can we feel so lost, so bored, so lonely, when we’re simultaneously feeling so hurried, exhausted and surrounded by people?
That’s the question I seek to answer in its entirety (and I am not sure there really is ONE answer).
But until then, the good news? There are practices, small shifts in thinking and behavior, that can have a positive impact in increasing connection (w/ yourself and others), decreasing the “rush” and leave you feeling more joy in your mothering experience.
There is a Danish word that describes this philosophy of “being”, this practice of living, so perfectly. It’s referred to as “Hygge”, pronounced “hoo-ga”. It means creating a warm atmosphere and enjoying the good things in life with good people around you; slowing down enough to be present in the moment. It’s all the warms and fuzziness that is the “good” in mothering.
I’m about some Hygge in my mothering about now. GIVE IT TO ME.
So welcome, Mama. If my day of rushing resonated with you in the slightest or you felt seen in my experience, then join me in the 5 Days to Slow Mothering Challenge to find your hygge in motherhood.
